I keep seeing questions like this:

“masculinity is in crisis. what should we do about it?”
“who should we give men as examples of healthy masculinity?”
“now that we’ve deconstructed/destroyed masculinity, what should take its place?”

And the unpleasant answer is:
Nothing. Nobody. Just pull the plug.

Where is the growth or selection from crisis if you’re supplying answers? if there’s a “we” with answers, is the crisis for men, or for the “we”?

When you pull the plug for your own reasons, because *you* were affected by something, you were hurt or exploited, and now you want your power back, that’s the right thing to do. Be selfish. Look out for yourself. It’s not your job to supply alternative grifts.

But:

When you do it vindictively, to “teach” lessons as though you are superior, to have your cake and eat it too, to mould your fantasy human, have power over them and lend power when its useful or arousing, that’s unearned, because you’re human too. And it’s going to backfire.

The real “blackpill” is that both “masculinity” and “femininity” have always been “in crisis”. but every time that crisis had a chance of producing something new, a bunch of do-gooders and grifters swooped in to just update the status quo for their generation.

Don’t do that.

We must have the guts to pull the plug and let the events, and consequences to us, unfold. breaking the status quo in self-interest, pursuing agency, will lead to more revolutionary first, second and third-order outcomes than being a bleeding heart or exploiting unrest.

You often see this in the endlessly recurring discourse about crying and vulnerability.

There is doublespeak in that discourse as with all discourses owned by a single demographic of overly online extremists whose views trickle down to people in real life. One hand they may say: cry more and be more vulnerable, and at the same time men are fully aware it is extremely unattractive to a large number of women, even progressive ones, with no way for men to predict whom those women will be even inside a relationship of years.

And therefore these men choose to get radicalized into Statue PFP stoicism, unironic inceldom or unbridled simping and white knighting. The women are already radicalized, its just more socially acceptable to be so and much less physically scary in real life.

But most people are missing the actual lesson in this:

There are certain things both men and women believe they’re wired to find attractive and “need” in the other..

.. and that’s their fucking problem. Not yours.

Explore what you are capable of being, explore ways of being, explore slow and drastic change, outside of validation from the gender you’re attracted to, and this will hard filter for the kind of people who actually want to be with you, the entire you.

Go out there and be the human you want to be.